#he has this ... unfortunately relatable.... tendency to just Not ask for help

[kerorowhump]

i just realized anime keroro loves to go isolate and sit by himself when he's seriously emotionally hurt

and of course running away from home counts

[sqgeism]

Can I ask for something related to an Anaxa with a reader who gets nervous easily? An already established relationship.

𐙚 𓏵𓏵𓏵 𐙚 feeling like i need something | amphoreus men x gender neutral reader

💌 — ; feeling like i need you . amphoreus men (anaxa, mydei, phainon) with a nervous reader !

love mail — thank you anonnie for a request, i'm happy to write for you :D not much to say here, just working on a quick reqs (*ﾟーﾟ) does this count as a layout change again (;゜0゜)?

anaxa wasn't entirely sure how to help with your shyness, he was a blunt man, never afraid of confrontation or anything of the sort. but something he noticed was that you had a tendency to fidget, as a fellow professor who taught a major class, sometimes you grew frustrated with your nervousness before teaching a new lesson and possibly messing up (you never have, you're a top teacher and anaxa finds it a little humorous).

but in the faculty, you'd be going over your notes and powerpoints for the students, mumbling and picking at your fingertips. of course, not wanting you to hurt your poor fingers any longer, anaxa makes his way to your desk and pulls his chair next to yours. you look at him, furrowed brows and downturned lips, and he sighs. "here." he holds his hand out to you quietly. "i don't want you picking on your skin anymore. if you so.. need it. use my hand instead. i'll be alright."

now he has you in a loop. he knows you don't want to hurt him, even if it's something as significantly painless as picking at his skin (he gouged his eye out ..), you still don't want to hurt him. so he watches as you poke his knuckles, tug on his fingers, and just use his hand as a little fidget toy.

the morning break for teachers comes to an end, and professors part ways into different classes. anaxa, knowing you were the second teacher in his first class, decides he wants to leave you a surprise. "you'll do great, dove." anaxa murmurs as he presses a kiss to your hand, soothing your worries.

once your second class comes along, you see him exit the classroom and smile at you, holding the door open for you to enter. "how oddly cheery." you think, walking in and placing your material on the teachers desk, until something catches your eye.

"ease your worries, my dove. you're the smartest person in the room, never hesitate to speak that brilliant mind of yours."

a letter, simple as it is, you know it's from the heart. anaxa had long left, likely not wanting to be late, but your chest swells with pride.

you receive a commendation later that day, the students have all passed their homework early and had been genuinely invested in your class. <3

mydei is gentle, but still urges you to try and come out of your comfort zone. taking you to meet the children, long strolls to ease your worries after a long day, all of those little things. something you seem to particularly shy away from, is eye contact.

now mydei knows he's a bit.. on the intimidating side, but he finds it funny that you can't look at him too long or you'll turn away.

so he's made some sort of 'training' for you. which is really just staring into his eyes. sometimes (all the time) he makes it harder by caressing your cheek, or brushing hair away from your face, simple things that fluster you with ease. it's funny, he won't lie, but he wants to help you. eye contact is important during conversations (and he wants to see your eyes when he talks to you).

one day, after a few weeks of this, mydei had called you over to ask you for something. unfortunately, the warrior had 'completely forgotten'. and you two stared at each other as he tried to figure it out. the entire time, you held eye contact, even smiled at him in a baffled manner. only for him to lean down and press a kiss to your lips right after.

"you did great, sweetheart" is all he says before going on his day.

phainon doesn't mind your nervousness. he'd want to help you try and move past it, but he'd hate for you to feel pressured. so instead, he makes you laugh! whenever something makes you feel a little anxious, he cracks a joke or pulls you closer, wanting to stray you away from that experience or moment. his goal is to eliminate the cause of your anxiety, but he knows he can't always do that. so he makes due with words of encouragement, getting your spirit and confidence high as he cheers for you like he's been on a cheer team for five years. probably your biggest supporter, he's sure of it.

if you struggle with stuttering, he's sure to guide you through it. he's serious the entire time you practice a script or a presentation, helping you calm down every time you start to stutter from the pressure or grow frustrated with yourself when you forget a line.

"hey, hey, baby. you're doing great." phainon's holding down your wrists kindly because he knows you'll sometimes hit your head out of annoyance with yourself. he doesn't want that. "try again, slowly. the world isn't ending, honey. take your time."

you eventually memorize the presentation and phainon jumps out of his seat and cheers, wrapping you in a bear hug and exclaiming how proud he is of you to the aeon's.

© sqgeism or wtv (^_^;)

[devotionlest]

*Epically punch a hole through your door to unlock it then proceeds to crashes through the the wall right next to the door* Hey can I request the survivors thoughts on the new Survivor reader who has the abilities of a Fisher?

The plot Idea or whatever you want to call this: the survivors are happy that you are around because they no longer just have to eat pizza or chicken but they are worried that when the trials (idk what they're called in lore) start you might not last that long but luckily for them you were able to take care of yourself and be a major help like: (these are just ideas for the abilities you don't have to use them) they can use their fishing rod to pull the killer or the survivors near them like Isabel's fishing rod from Smash, set a cage trap, and maybe have a harpoon for self-defense.

🎣 survivors x reader w/ fisher abilities 🐟

generally, the idea of a new survivor itself was exciting for everyone. it certainly wasn't every day that someone new fell victim to being (unfortunately) dragged into this hellish realm, so they were rather stoked and intrigued to meet you in the cabin face-to-face for the first time.

it wasn't overwhelming at all. in fact, it was very peaceful and welcoming. everyone took turns asking basic questions and greeting you, enthusiastically taking their time to get to know you. and you got along with them well! though, the most common question that everyone took particular interest in: what exactly do you do..?

it was quite a surprise to see you actually pulling up into your first round carrying around fishing equipment with an unreadable expression on your face as if this was an every day thing. some even expressed their worry that they fear you wouldn't last very long without their protection. you insisted that you could handle yourself, so everyone decided there was no time for questions and instead should be busy making it through the next hour.

as the round went on and you expressed more of your abilities, your fellow teammates eventually caught on. elliot took particular interest in your healing capability, incredibly relieved that there was another person who could help him help out everyone else. he even makes sure to spare you a slice even if you aren't very low, just making sure you that have enough to get through the rest of the round. if anyone knows how stressful it is to chase people down to heal them, it's definitely him.

not only that, but you could also lure the killer in with bait right into an efficiently placed trap! a few people seemed to favor this little ability of yours the most, using the killer's moment of weakness to slash their daggers and swords.

builderman and guest always give you a pat on the shoulder for your proficiency, constantly cracking fish related dad jokes that never fail to make you smile despite how cringe they can be. 007n7 can only force himself a smile at these jokes as well, mentally adding them to the list of 'dad jokes' he's been keeping track of for future reference.

the fact that you can do so much with your limited amount of supplies is mind boggling to everyone, basically covering every field of survival.

two time, though, takes high interest in your method. usually sticking by you during the rather calm rounds to question you. unfortunately, their touchy tendencies driven by curiosity never do seem to die down, always poking at your gear and asking you to demonstrate your abilities personally for them, only because they're so mesmerized by how easily you can swing your rod around without struggle.

chance is also one to tag along during exceptionally slow rounds, comparing the concept of fishing to the gambling he enjoys doing in his free time. at first, you thought it was kind of a stretch in comparison, but the two of you actually ended up forming a friendly bond over that conversation.

what appeared to be seemingly useless skills proved to be so much more than some had thought. despite the silly concept and initial judgement, the survivors trust in your ability to fend for yourself, praising you relentlessly by the end of the round for your helpful aid!

post script: this idea is really cute & i hope i portrayed it well enough for your standards! sorry only a few survivors are included here..i unintentionally rushed this a bit

[voxslays]

Lucifer’s Daughter Headcannons

Lucifer x Reader: If Lucifer and Reader had a daughter, here’s what I think she would be like. or an excuse for me to talk about apple white…

Personality

First of all, personality. Your daughter would be raised by Lucifer, therefore picking up some of his both positive and negative traits, but let’s start positively.

Your daughter would be very creative. Her father was a dreamer; having beautiful (rejected) ideas and dreams for humanity. We saw in episode five how Lucifer would use his powers to show baby Charlie magic—so I doubt your child would be any different. Although Lucifer would be worried about her ending up like him.

Your daughter is very empathetic. Always helping injured little animals she finds in your back garden. Also, speaking of animals, it’s like she can speak to them. Animals really like and trust her—and by the time she gets older, she has an army.

Very charismatic. Your daughter would be extremely popular in school. Not only because she’s a princess of hell and the daughter of a fallen angel—but because of her charisma and charm. She is extremely outgoing, and will walk up and talk to anyone. Almost everyone loves her—how could they not?

Unfortunately, she would probably have selfish tendencies. Having been spoiled her entire life, she expects everything to be handed to her on a silver platter. And yes, while she can be down-to-earth and empathetic, she isn’t a perfect Angel.

As a teenager, your daughter would likely experience extreme anger issues. We’ve seen Lucifer can control his anger and annoyance…but he’s also been alive for eons. A teenager wouldn’t be able to do that.

She also inherits her father’s powers. From childhood all the way up into her teenage years, she will struggle to control them. Her powers getting stronger the angrier she gets. She is completely out of control, and has to be calmed down.

Looks/Appearance

Blonde. Very very blonde. There is no way she doesn’t inherit the signature blonde Morningstar locks. Oh, and those adorable rosy red cheeks. She’s so cute!

However, she will have your complexion and eyes. I also can imagine your daughter having curly little ringlets or locks, which is extremely hard to brush, because she cries every. single. time. and you just feel so bad about it.

Overall, I think your daughter would look (and dress) something like apple from ever after high, with your eye color and skin tone ofc. (God I love her so much).

Name

Okay. I know I’ve mentioned Apple White already in this post…but I just love her so much! Can you guys imagine Lucifer having a daughter like her?

Do I think he would name his daughter something like Apple? Definitely. I mean, he was the one who offered eve the forbidden fruit; an apple. And he just likes apples.

Another name is Evangeline. Depending on who you ask (or what you google lol) Evangeline can mean one of three things. Angel, messenger, or ‘good news.’ So not only does this name remind him of the good days back in heaven, but also his brother Gabriel, the messenger…is that too much of a stretch?

Another good one is Penelope. The name Penelope is Greek and means ‘weaver’ (not important) or ‘duck’. Wouldn’t it be so cute if Lucifer named his daughter something duck related? You can’t tell me otherwise.

The last name I can think of is Aurelia. (I actually knew an Aurelia lol). Aurelia means ‘golden’ or ‘the golden one.’ Not only is Lucifer referred to as ‘the golden angel’ in mastermind, but he would treat his daughter like a golden treasure. A chance to start over and fix his previous mistakes as a father.

Idk if I should make a part 2…but if I do, would u guys rather it be more Headcannons for Lucifer’s daughter, or a different characters child?

[xzaddyzanakinx]

what do you think stalker!anis body count is?

i can’t work out if he’s had a “fuck everything that walks” phase or not

I’ve thought about this a lot actually, cause I’ve also had trouble deciding that lmao. I originally intended for stalker!ani to have BPD, but as he developed as a character I think antisocial personality disorder fits him much, much better. Both disorders experience hypersexuality.

In this essay I will…

Stalker!Anakin has never had a girlfriend before reader. Unfortunately he was painfully awkward and strange during his elementary school years:

Exhibit A: tying nettles together with worms (a beautiful bouquet if you ask me) and giving them to a girl he thought was pretty.

Exhibit B: staring and unapologetically eavesdropping on any conversation.

Exhibit C: starting conversations with “I am Anakin Skywalker, I am seven years old and I like to collect Hot Wheels. Do you like to collect Hot Wheels?” (Bc his therapist said he should try to be ‘relatable’ by finding people with similar interests. How is he expected to do that unless he systematically goes through his entire class list and initiates/interviews his classmates??)

Moving onto his middle school years were even worse bc he found out that girls are hot and hot girls make him horny. Everyone remembered him as the weird kid, told the other sixth graders and ruined his chances of winning people over with his new, carefully crafted personality/mask.

So when he asked his crush to the homecoming dance he bought real flowers (sans worms!!), and his mom helped him find a cute sign on Pinterest to copy… She refused the flowers and said “ew”, thinking there were prob bugs in it (she’d heard the gossip). Anakin unwrapped the flowers and shook them out to prove they were indeed wormless, made a joke and then the girl reconsidered her refusal and decided ‘hey maybe he’s not so bad, all kids are weird anyway so he’s probably fine now’.

Turns out he was in fact trying to be fine & normal. But ended up in a ‘Carrie at prom’ situation at the homecoming dance bc the guy who also liked Anakin’s date was there. Anakin ended up with a suspension and the other guy ended up with the girl.

Then the summer of 7th grade he wacked a grown man with a table.

That didn’t bode well for his highschool conquests of course! So he got his rocks off with the occasional use of the good ol’ ‘hide in the bushes with binoculars and hope Becky from Algebra changes in front of her window again’

Anakin got his first job at the Hot Topic when he was 17. This is where he tried out everything he’d learned over the years and he realized he was actually very decent at speaking to girls as long as he kept up his masked personality. Anakin stayed a virgin until a pretty girl with a nose ring (she worked at Claire’s, he was getting his ear pierced) complimented his Suicidal Tendencies t-shirt and he smooth talked his way into getting her in his car after his shift. Then… continued to do that for a while, strictly fucking. She thought it was strange that he never really wanted to talk before or after.

He was just trying to perfect his sex game and she was just a body. She wasn’t his dream gal, so she was perfect for making mistakes and learning from them. He didn’t have to worry about appearances or properly apologizing for accidentally not doing super great at something, he could just move on and keep going. After all, she was just a body to practice on.

Unfortunately for Anakin he had a brand new court appointed therapist at the time who didn’t think promiscuity was good for the healing and reconditioning process (it wasn’t).

So Anakin put a stop to fuckin’ the girl from Claire’s. He was very confused that she was so upset when he just completely ignored her. The next time they both worked, she waited at his truck like usual and he walked right past her and got in his truck, locked the door and backed out of the parking spot without waiting for her to move (she was fine just really mad).

Claire’s girl confronted him about it, thinking she’d done something to upset him and asked if that was his way of breaking up with her. Anakin’s like??? Break up?? We were never dating!!?? (This is how he found out that when you fuck someone weekly for over four months they will more than likely form an emotional attachment)

To avoid a repeat of that incident when he moved to the city for college (he dropped out obvi), he got a job as a bartender for the sole purpose of people watching for research and practicing being a normal dude. Being a normal dude includes learning how to pick up chicks, so I think he probably took a girl home once or twice a month just to keep sharp on his pretending and fucking skills so he’d be on his best game when he found the right girl.

So in conclusion, yes he did have a ‘fuck everything that walks’ phase. Just not for the sex. For research.

me reading the DSM-5 and diagnosing him. [im a doctor you can trust me]

Tag List:

@wickedtactics @tsugumiholic @kingdomhate @burnthecheshirewitch @exquisitcorpse @arzua10 @bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay @aliciaasky @naty-1001 @mrsmikaelsxn @bunnylovesani @ausskywalker @angelsadmired @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @lethargic @allhailbuckybarnes-blog @shadowhuntyi i @mortalheartache @fallinlovewithevil @sythethecarrot @chaoticantihero @vadersslut @luvvfromme @anakinsbaee @sweetcheesecakesblog @luvskywxlker r @angelsadmired @kaminokatie @anakin-pilled @graveyard-stray @chiaraanatra @jediavengers @zapernz @lunalitva @salted-snailz @queenofchaos99 @ellie-luvsfics @dazednstars141 @hopesworlld @lonaah @guiltycherries @syralix @doblasftcisco @demieyesore @hemmoxloser @ahano

[breakdownsbuttlights]

this might be a bit of a weird question (i'm sorry if so!!) but how do your hf autobots stand politically in relation to the politics of our world? are they technically more leftist, standing against elistism? i know there's the joke about your prowl being A Republican™ but i'm interested to know if his politics (outside of being self-serving) are actually more left or right-- or maybe centrist?

Ooooh, a provocative ask for these fractious times! I’m reminded of the tweet JRO made years ago about the entire crew of the Lost Light voting Labour, except Getaway. (ouch!)

To get to Prowl first, if we are talking partisan politics, it's very tempting to assign Prowl Republican, since he has just enough baked-in conservatism to make the right his default choice. However, I think he'd recoil at the populist, anti-institutional cant of the party's current iteration. He is, at heart, a creature of the establishment, so he sides with whoever will protect the establishment. (Even as he endeavours to shape the establishment to his own design.) And don't even attempt to bring identity politics into this equation; Prowl has found a nice dark place in the back of the closet for the tangled ball of string comprising his sexuality, gender, and faith, and he'd be grateful if everyone else would do the same.

As for the others-- Drift is a grassroots leftist of the first water, though not without his own complications. Namely (a) he's rich, (b) he got rich killing to advance the interests of very powerful people, and (c) he flirts dangerously with the wellness-to-conspiracy-wingnut pipeline, which in a surprise plot twist now skews right.

I once made the mistake of saying that Ratchet is more conservative than Drift, at which point several people accused me of suggesting that Ratchet is A Conservative. He is not. He has simply enjoyed a measure of privilege in life that leaves him less motivated to press for change than, say, Drift is. He votes... strategically left of centre... and then gets heck from Drift about it.

Rodimus's politics are an unfortunate muddle. His rebellious nature suggests someone who leans progressive, but he's ill-informed, sandblasted by propaganda, nostalgic for a past that never existed, and has the regrettable tendency to brandish conspiracy theories as fact. (Drift does not help here.)

Mesothulas believes that the label "non-affiliated mad scientist" exempts him from politics full stop. He learns otherwise the hard way.

[blueberrymocha]

hi! can i request à main 4 x reader stargazing date? Like they know the reader loves anything space related and they suprise them by going to a secluded grass hill to look at the full moon/bright stars and it’s like rlly romantic 🤗🤗

main 4 stargazing ✩₊˚.⋆☾₊✧

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

ׂ╰┈➤ fluff

➣ characters: gon, killua, kurapika, leorio

➣ word count: x

➣ a/n: thank you for the request :) sorry that it took forever! i’ll find the word count later loll.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

gon

⋆ would adore the idea of going out into nature and watching the sky with you

⋆ so it’s not even a one time thing

⋆ but since you’re interested in space, he’d make this date extra special

⋆ starts the day off by taking you to a gift shop

⋆ there, he buys you two matching space themed necklaces

(and you might see it tucked under his shirt every now and then; he wears it a lot)

⋆ later that day, he’d take you to a remote hill

⋆ the two of you might roam the area while you wait for sunset

⋆ whether it’s wading through a stream or picking daisies, nature keeps you occupied for quite a while

⋆ but as soon as it’s dark enough, he helps you up a tree, where the stars seem closer than ever

⋆ points to constellations and asks you which ones they are, and if you know the story behind them

⋆ as you get deeper into topics, he can’t help but listen, being enthused by your enthusiasm

⋆ even though his knowledge of space is very limited (he wouldn’t be able to name the planets at gunpoint 💀)

killua

⋆ he usually tries not to do anything conspicuously caring for you

⋆ cause, y’know, he has to be nonchalant

⋆ but beneath his tsundere tendencies, he’s a very observant and considerate lover

⋆ so if it were a special occasion, like an anniversary, he doesn’t mind planning a little surprise

⋆ unfortunately for you, this gremlin would go stargazing in the coldest of weathers

⋆ it could be november, and he’ll just tell you to grab a blanket and huddle in

⋆ so there you are; cuddled against him next to a bonfire, a chill breeze tickling your face every so often

⋆ at first, you’d mostly just talk while admiring the sky

⋆ though as your conversations started to dull, he’d count the stars aloud

⋆ each one a soft murmur, as he tries to make this a relaxing night

⋆ and by his luck, if you do fall asleep

⋆ he’ll carry you all the way home, a rare and genuine smile spreading across his features

kurapika

⋆ he’s very busy, so it’s not uncommon for you feel like he doesn’t care or pay attention

⋆ but believe me when i say he definitely does

⋆ he’ll make a mental note every time you ramble on about space

⋆ and the minute he has free time, he’ll be telling you how he wants to take you somewhere

⋆ ignoring how odd it is for him of all people to plan some sort of ‘surprise’ at night,

⋆ the two of you would get in the car and head out of the city to a more rural part of town

⋆ at that point, you’re probably half convinced he’s going to murder you, instead you’re met with a happy surprise of cozy blankets and snacks next to a telescope

“surprise, darling.”

⋆ as he leads you out of the car and onto the blanket, you look up at the sky, noticing the bright, full moon

⋆ and that smile he’s been hoping to see washed over your features

⋆ hands interlocked with his, you sit there for a while in awe

⋆ and soon, you’d start to babble about space again

⋆ he’s always found your knowledge impressive, and he did his research so the two of you could have a proper discussion

⋆ you spend the night chatting, enjoying eachother’s presence.

⋆ if he already knew something, he’ll nod along and ask about it anyway, tracing shapes over your hand as you “educate” him

⋆ if not, whether it’s star signs, exoplanets, theories, or whatever, he’s glad to learn more from you.

leorio

⋆ admittedly, he doesn’t find it super interesting himself

⋆ but he’s determined to make stargazing enjoyable for the both of you

⋆ so expect a beer to be waiting on the blanket next to some binoculars

⋆ and they might not be the best quality, but it’s the thought that counts

⋆ brings a lil record player with some jazz on it

⋆ then invites you for a dance under the bright moonlight

⋆ as soon as you’re done, you both just collapse on the grass

⋆ so whatever semi-serious conversation you were having about the stars is replaced with teasing banter and giggles

⋆ he thinks it’s a win-win that you get to look at your pretty sky, and he gets to still have fun

⋆ though if you really want to, he doesn’t mind listening while you talk about space

⋆ and who knows, maybe he’ll come out of it with a newfound interest?

[chackyxyooj]

Movie Night

╭──────────.★..─╮

Description: Time together doesn’t always mean you have to do everything together.

Pairing: MS!Zane X Reader

WC: 0.5k

AN: I'm still getting a feel for his character so Zane might feel ooc.

Series Masterlist

╰─..★.──────────╯

You lean back into the cushion of the sofa, eyes briefly glancing toward the empty doorway before returning to the TV. It’s movie night with your boyfriend once again, and tonight is his turn to host. That means he gets to choose the movie and prepare the snacks - and currently only half of that has been achieved.

“Zane?” You call toward the doorway. When you don’t immediately hear back from him - the first worrying sign that something’s gone wrong - you get up from the couch to check on him.

There’s not a lot of noise coming from the kitchen. It’s not silent per say, but definitely quiet enough that your voice should’ve reached Zane easily. Knowing your boyfriend and his tendencies he must be stressed over something or other - and considering that he’s spent so much time in the kitchen, the problem is probably related to the ‘snack’ portion of the night.

When you reach the kitchen you stand in the doorway, leaning against the side of the open frame while gazing at the dark haired boy. He notices you almost immediately, as you’d expect, but he doesn’t call you over.

“Oh, hey.” The boy flashes you a brief smile. “I’m almost done in here. You can just wait for me in the living room.” 

You can tell he’s trying to be as casual as possible, but unfortunately he’s failing. As you press further into the kitchen you get a better view of what your boyfriend is currently trying to do. He’s made some of your favourite snacks but it seems he’s having a tough time with the finer details of the treat - as fine as the details can be, anyway.

You’re tempted to reach for some but a glance from the boy stops you in your tracks. It’s not a mean look, not in the slightest, but you can tell he’s been working hard to impress you. Just the thought alone makes you smile.

“It looks really good. Do you want some help?” You lean against the countertop but keep a good distance between yourself and the boy. You don’t want to accidentally get in the way of his careful machinations. Simple movie snack or not, he always wants things to be perfect when they’re for you.

“N-no, I’m good.” Zane insists. His eyes dart over to you for a moment but they quickly return to the task at hand.

The boy is about to dismiss you again but you stop him by gently wrapping your arms around his waist and slowly pulling him away from the countertop. “How important is it that you get the snacks just right?” You ask softly.

Zane inhales deeply, contemplating his answer before sighing. “I just want it to be good enough for you.”

“I know, and that’s okay, but I don’t want you to spend too much time alone. Especially not on movie night.” You tighten your grip slightly and let yourself lean against the boy. “How about this? Let me help you bring everything over to the living room. That way we can spend time together while you perfect your craft. Does that sound okay?”

After a moment of prolonged silence, Zane eventually agrees. “Okay.” He relents. “Actually… I really like the sound of that.”

[scaredpigeons]

More than some stress relief

Blade x Stelle NSFW 18+ MDNI

CW: Stelle asks Blade to spar with her, and unfortunately that results in some unresolved sexual frustration, because c’mon, he’s still a whole ass man. Luckily, mama Kafka steps in to lend a helping hand. (Not her literal hand, she just buys the toy lol) phone sex, mutual masturbation? The fleshlight blade uses is connected to Stelle through the (magical) necklace that was part of the set. (Magical) creampie.

WARNING: Blade is very violent in his descriptions of how he threatens to bone Stelle. If you’re uncomfortable with him saying things along the lines of: —until the carnage is unrecognizable, —until you’re nothing but hot pulp running through my fingers (just to paraphrase loool) please do not read this. Blade is a very broken man, I was really trying to play off his more violent tendencies with this one. Stelle is so fuckin down bad tho (relatable)

If you are 18+, comfortable with some gory descriptors, and willing to read, please continue! Enjoy.

——————————

🐺👾: you want to…. Spar with blade? Are you a masochist or something? Should I be concerned? 

🦝🗑️: shut up 

🦝🗑️: I have this crazy lance and I don’t really want to hurt anyone by practicing with it 

🦝🗑️: I know he’s got that healing thing going on 

🐺👾: 👀 …. 

🐺👾: I’m telling him you called it that 

🦝🗑️: DONT U DARE 

🦝🗑️: JUST PLEASE ASK THE MAN IF HE CAN SPAR WITH ME WITHOUT KILLING ME 

🦝🗑️: AND DON'T TELL HIM IT'S ONLY BECAUSE HES WEIRDLY INDESTRUCTIBLE 

🦝🗑️: I don’t wanna like, offend him or anything. Obvi I don’t want him to get hurt, but like, the off chance I slip up with this thing… he isn’t gonna get murked. You know? 

🐺👾: okay okay I get it, I’ll ask 

🦝🗑️: 😩🩶🩶💯🔥

🐺👾: he agreed. Here’s the coordinates. Have fun, don’t die. 

————

“Thank you for agreeing to this, I really appreciate it!” 

The man in front of Stelle says nothing, only stares as the winds coming off the water pick up loose strands of his hair, making the inky strands flow behind him. 

“You… remember me, right?” Stelle tentatively asks. 

Still nothing. 

“It’s okay if you don’t, we don’t even have to go through with this, I just thought you would be the best person for what I’m—“ 

“I remember you, Trailblazer. My mind is not so far eroded that I’d forget you so easily.” 

His voice is dark, just as raspy as she remembers it. She has to clench her teeth to suppress a shudder. If March could hear her thoughts, she’d blush and squeal, smacking her arm in scandal. If Dan Heng could hear her thoughts… he’d institutionalize her immediately. 

This man is dangerous. Incredibly dangerous. Stelle had to lie about where she was going just so no one would try to talk her out of it. 

Danger always pulled at something inside her though, that nasty, deranged thing inside her that craved violence and adrenaline. She figured it was a side effect of hosting a stellaron inside her body, but man— did this guy make her wish she could have something else inside her body too.

 *Wink wink*

Aeons. She’s such a fucking simp. If it wouldn’t make her look bat shit insane, she’d smack herself right now just to get her shit together. 

“Oh…” she said instead. “That’s good. I’m glad.”

An awkward pause lingered between them, and she found herself thinking that maybe she was standing a bit too close to him, despite there being at least two feet between them. 

“Are you… doing well? The last time I saw you, Kafka was… helping you feel better.” She said hesitantly. 

It could’ve been her imagination, but she swore that the furrow of his brow softened ever so slightly. 

“We’re not here to discuss such trivial matters.” His voice was harsh nonetheless. 

“Right, right.” Stelle said, scratching the back of her neck sheepishly. “So, how do we do this?” 

Blade summoned his sword, dragging his fingertips across the edge before spreading the tainted blood across the flat of it, causing the cracked blade to glow and radiate with unnatural power. 

“It is not your time or place to die here, so luckily for you, I will show restraint.” 

—————

Stelle could tell Blade was holding back, true to his word. 

Any flames she created were either quelled by his winds, or overfanned by his elemental power to the point that they grew too dangerous for the environment around them, or even Stelle herself. 

She found that with her control over the lance, she could call forth and dissipate her fires at will, so the damage to herself was minimal. 

She worried that if the flames grew too large, she’d lose control over them— but every time, she willed them away and they would flicker out, leaving charred shrubbery and stone in their wake. 

Didn’t mean they weren’t hot as shit though.  

The first time she’d used the lance, the freezing temperatures of Jarilo XI dulled just how hot her new weapon could become. 

But now, well she couldn’t tell if her sweat was from the flames or just how hard her opponent was pushing her. 

He was toying with her, clashing together brutally before jumping away and circling her like a hawk. 

He was resistant to her taunts, though keeping up with him left little room for her to pause long enough to think of something to say. 

He seemed completely at ease though, the violence in his eyes and the murderous grin doing nothing to help the degenerate part of her brain that was screaming and crying and throwing up at the opportunity to observe him like this up close, without Dan Heng around to make her feel guilty for admiring this man so much. 

Her arms grew heavy, and she’d not even made him sweat, let alone injure him in any way. 

She knew that the lack of true danger was causing her to remain at a reasonable power level, flash backs to the Herta space station incident making her shudder. 

She was really no match for him in this kind of situation. 

He lunged for her again, and this time, she was too tired to react properly. She parried his strike, but missed the signs of his next move, getting her feet swiped out from beneath her as he tackled her to the ground. His sword stabbed into the dirt just beside her head as he landed on top of her, effectively straddling her as he pinned her with his intense gaze. 

Her eyes flitted back and forth between his as her breath heaved in her chest, her heart racing as she struggled to right herself after being disoriented so badly. 

Something in his expression shifted, and instead of murderous amusement, his gaze seemed… hungry. 

He leaned closer, ever so slowly, and continued staring at Stelle so intently it made her do something so embarrassing she knew she would never live it down. 

She whimpered. 

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he was gone. 

He pulled away from her and disappeared within the same breath, leaving her lying there in the dirt as she caught her breath. 

She ran her hands over her face. “Well fuck.” 

—————

🐺👾: what did you do to him? 

🦝🗑️: ??????? 

🐺👾: last week. When the two of you sparred, did something happen? 

🦝🗑️: ….

🦝🗑️: why 

🐺👾: ever since he got back he’s been fucking pouting. 

🐺👾: well, I mean pouting in the way that blade does. It’s more of a scowl than anything else, but I’ve known him long enough to differentiate between his various types of frowns. 

🦝🗑️: … nothing happened. We fought. I lost, obviously. But no one was hurt or anything. 🙃 everything’s totally normal 

🐺👾 added Kafka🕷️💕 to the chat

🐺👾: Kafka, what’s she hiding? 

Kafka🕷️💕: some sexual tension, most likely. 

🦝🗑️: …. -_- 

🦝🗑️: mother, why hast thou forsaken me????

 Kafka🕷️💕: nothing to be embarrassed about, sweetie. 

Kafka🕷️💕: Bladie may be a tragic creation of the abundance, but his body was once human. It wouldn’t be a far stretch to say that some of the more… human tendencies of a man may still linger within him. 

🐺👾: F

🦝🗑️: F 

🐺👾: so you’re saying he’s pouting and kicking shit because he’s sexually frustrated? That’s fuckin nasty. 

🐺👾: @🦝🗑️ you need to fix this. I don’t wanna look at him sulk anymore 

🦝🗑️: me?!!?!? Tf am I supposed to do??? How is this my fault??? 

🐺👾: you fought him and now he’s horny. Fix it. 

🦝🗑️: … bruh 

Kafka🕷️💕: I don’t think the traditional way of solving this problem will be the best idea, silver wolf. 🤭

🐺👾: wym? 🤨

Kafka🕷️💕: I don’t think it’s safe right now for our little trailblazer and Bladie to get together on a more intimate level… he’s still a bit unstable mentally. 

🦝🗑️: you let me fight this man while hES UNSTABLE 

🐺👾: heh. L 

Kafka🕷️💕: fighting is what he knows. It’s what comes natural to him these days. Emotions? Not so much. 

🦝🗑️: I mean… I’m always down to help anyone whenever I can

🐺👾: *tucks hair behind ear* “i’M aLwAys DoWn tO HeLP aNyONe WHeNeVEr I cAn”

🦝🗑️: BRO FIGHT ME 

🐺👾: no thanks, I have better ways to waste my time 

🦝🗑️: ENGAGE ME IN A BATTLE OF FISTICUFFS RN 

🦝🗑️: IM ALWAYS DOWN TO HELP BUT USUALLY I GET NICE REWARDS TOO 

🐺👾: heh… you want a nice reward for this one too? 

🦝🗑️: I STTA ILL COME FIND UR LITTLE HOLOGRAM AND SMACK THE SHIT OUTTA YOU 

🐺👾: wtf does stta stand for you heathen 

Kafka🕷️💕: ooh! She’s used this one with me before. It’s “swear to the aeons.” Cute, right? 

🐺👾: 🙄 

🐺👾 has left the chat

Kafka🕷️💕: I think I have an idea on how you can help, if you’re open to it. 

🦝🗑️: …

🦝🗑️: what do I need to do? 

———

“Stelle sweetie!” Himeko knocked on her cabin door. “You have a package here.”

Stelle nearly slipped as her sock feet slid along the smooth floor of her room in her haste to reach the door. 

She tumbled along gracelessly and threw open her door, huffing as she took the package from Himeko. 

A box, about five hands wide and three hands deep, wrapped in plain brown paper, with a little card tapped on and slathered with all the necessary postage. 

“Thank you!” Stelle said hastily, reaching for her door. 

“Wait—“ Himeko put a hand to the door shaft, stepping forward a bit with worry in her eyes. 

Stelle cringed a bit, looking up at Himeko and trying to hide the shame she felt creeping up the back of her neck. 

“Listen,” Himeko started, eyeing the little card on the package with Stelles name written in pretty, looping letters. “I know you and that stellaron hunter have some strange connection that we aren’t sure about, and I know you’re unsure too, but I just want you to be careful, okay?” 

It took a solid two panicked seconds for Stelle to realize that Himeko was speaking about Kafka, and not the other stellaron hunter she’d so guilty formed a connection with recently. 

When the realization dawned on her, she tucked her package to the side and pulled Himeko into a tender side hug, snuggling into her chest a bit as she usually did. 

“Thank you for worrying about me, Himeko.” Stelle said, pulling away. “It means a lot to me, and I promise I’m being careful. I won’t do anything to jeopardize the safety of anyone on the express.” 

Himeko sighed, smiling as she pulled back too. “I know, I just worry about you. We’re all here to support you through this, you know that.” 

Stelle grinned. “I do, thank you.” 

The red haired woman nodded, smiling still as she said her goodbyes and left Stelle to her own devices. 

She’d never closed and locked her door so quickly before. 

Throwing the package on her bed, she hastily sat beside it and pulled the card from the packaging. 

She took a moment to trace her fingers over the pretty script on the card, before she tore open the envelope and read its contents. 

Stelle, 

Inside this box you’ll find the fun toy I told you about, along with a new shipping label to send it off to Bladie. 

I’m off on my own right now, far away from him, and I figured he’d handle it a lot better if it came from you, and not me. hehe~ 

Also, you’ll find a beautiful little necklace I had added to the set, that’s for you to wear. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time with it. 

Thinking fondly of you always, 

K 

Stelle blushed a little, Kafka was always saying the strangest things. She tucked the card away in her nightstand and gently pried open the package, not wanting to tear the postage stamps. 

Inside was indeed the… thing that she was told about, and she blushed furiously while looking at the nondescript white box, though the size and shape was very indicative of what was inside.

She pulled the new shipping label out, looking at the address inquisitively and realizing she had no idea where Blade even was, not recognizing the planet. 

She sat it aside and pulled out the other small box inside, opening it up and finding a rather beautiful blue choker necklace. The colour was reminiscent of her garter, and she smiled, happily pulling the gift from its box and wrapping it around her slender throat. 

It clicked nicely in the back, and fit perfectly. She smiled, patting it and thinking about how it was such a thoughtful gift, however strangely unrelated. Then again Kafka was a bit of an enigma regardless, so who knows what her thought process was when putting these two together. 

Stelle closed up the box, slapping the new shipping label over the old one and eyeing it as it sat in the middle of her bed. 

Fuck, I should probably write him a letter, some kind of explination so he doesn’t just throw it away without opening it. 

She scurried to her desk, pulling out a very cutesy animal themed stationary set that March had gifted her after their mission on Jarilo XI. 

The envelopes and cards were soft blue, covered in cute little bunnies and bears and what Stelle thinks are pink raccoons, surrounded with hearts and little stars. 

She laughed at the idea of Blade handling such delicate paper, and got to writing a quick note on her desk.

Hey, 

Don’t hate me, but SW was complaining about your… mood lately, and I thought this might help. I totally fuckin get it, trust me, I understand. Traveling with a group of people that’s more like family than anything else can really put a damper on your… personal time. So please take time for yourself, if not for me, then to at least make silver wolf stop complaining to me that you’re moody. 

I look forward to the day you’ll spar with me again. 

-Stelle 

It might’ve been doing a bit too much, but Stelle couldn’t help but feel like the note might help him to be more receptive to the gift. 

Being a bit delusional never stopped her before, so why should it now? 

She slid the card in the envelope and slapped it to the package, picking it up to go and have it delivered. Hopefully she could feel a bit more at peace once it was gone. 

—————

A quick and impatient knock sounded on his room door, pulling him from his deep meditation on the floor. 

“Hey asshole, you’ve got a package.” 

He and Silver Wolf were sent together to fulfill one of Elio’s scripts, and it was a brief period of lull in their respective duties. 

The inn they were staying at wasn’t lavish by any means, but they were discreet, and that’s really all they could hope for. 

Blade released a breath through his nose as he rose from the floor, walking over and opening up his room to find his fellow hunter standing impatiently, tapping her foot on the rough carpet of the hallway. 

Blade hated carpet in the hallways of inns. Always disgusting and ridiculously coloured. 

“Here.” Silver Wolf shoved the box in his hands, her grin was wide, spreading to her eyes which twinkled up at him with the mischief he tried so desperately to avoid. 

“Who could possibly know where we are right now.” He grumbled at her, though she was already turning to leave. 

“I have an inkling, and hopefully the stick falls out of your ass soon.” She laughed maniacally as she waltzed down the hall. “Enjoy!” 

Blade felt his brow scrunch up tight as he eyed the package. The blue envelope tapped into it was terrible to look at, the childish print making him want to throw it away immediately, but the unfamiliar lettering spelling his name across the paper made him pause. 

He brought the package to his bed, sitting down and thumbing open the envelope. 

The contents of the card made his stomach drop and then lurch into his throat. He was ready to run silver wolf through with his sword. 

Calm yourself. 

He took steady breaths, though he was angry, he was also rather curious about what exactly was in the box. 

With a carefulness he didn’t remember he had, he pried open the package to find a smaller white box without any words or indicators of what could be inside. 

He lifted the lid, only to drop it in shock at what lurked within. He knew what that was. He was older than most but he was still a man, and he knew exactly what had been sent to him— what was to help his “mood.” 

He sighed, pinching his temples. He didn’t know whether he wanted to thank silver wolf or strangle her. Either way, he’d be getting some kind of relief today. 

———————

Stelle was eating dinner when she felt the first phantom touch. 

Fingertips, as soft as a whisper, ghosting over her pubic mound and making her stomach dip. 

Her eyes darted around, but everyone else was still enjoying their meal, chatting quietly together with the melody of silverware accompanying their voices. 

She was sat beside Dan Heng tonight, but both of his hands were above the table. 

She leaned back to look at him below the waist, looking to see if he’d manifested his tail and was making a pass at her, or more likely, was absentmindedly flicking it about like he did whenever he took his secondary form. 

But no, he was tailless this evening, and now eyeing her a bit warily as her eyes darted around. 

“You okay?” He murmured, not wanting to bother the others. 

The touch ghosted along her outer labia now, making her drop her fork in shock. 

Everyone was looking at her now, and she felt something pulse around her throat, right where her new necklace rested. 

Her face heated, and she placed her utensils onto her half finished plate before scooting from behind the table. 

“I’m… not feeling the greatest. I think I’m gonna go to bed early, if you all don’t mind.” 

She stood quickly, standing there for a moment as the touches continued, soft and inquisitive. 

“Are you alright?” Welt asked, concerned. “Would you like me to bring you some tea, or medicine?” 

“No!” Stelle jumped, before she caught herself and smiled sheepishly. “I’m alright, just feeling a little off. Probably just need some good sleep. I’ll see you all in the morning?” 

They all nodded, watching her go with worried eyes, but letting her leave without more questioning, which she was so grateful for. 

As soon as she made it to her room, she felt the first touch swipe through her core, and she nearly keened. 

Her throat pulsed, the necklace weakly glowing in the dark of her room. 

Her body felt hot. She was embarrassed at the amount of wetness that was pooling in her underwear, but most importantly, she was so fucking confused at what was going on. 

Something wet and blunt prodded at her entrance, and her knees buckled as she locked her door. 

She nearly crawled to her bed as her choker pulsed and pulsed with a weak glow, and the blunt thing, which felt suspiciously like a pair of fingers, finally slipped inside her, curiously prodding around, as if feeling her out. 

She slapped a hand over her mouth as she squeezed around the phantom digits, their touch lingering at her g spot with ridiculous precision. The fingers withdrew and she breathed a sigh of relief, though it was short lived as something much, much larger prodded itself at her entrance. 

Her eyes widened, and she scrambled to pull Kafkas card from her bedside drawer. 

“you’ll find a beautiful little necklace I had added to the set, that’s for you to wear. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time with it. “

Stelle hadn’t realized what those words meant at the time, but as the blunt head of a ridiculously sized phallic object pushed at her hole, the meaning slapped her in the face like a rouge automaton. 

Her back arched off the bed as the phantom cock pushed into her, and she choked on a moan as it buried itself deep within her. She was so ridiculously wet she wanted to cry, and knowing who was on the other end of this feeling made her eyes roll back into her head. 

The thrusts started slow, but slowly worked their way up to something more intense, almost violent. Her insides churned, and she felt the telltale signs of an orgasm building up so quickly she might scream. 

No, no no no. She scrambled, reaching for the necklace, but when her fingers reached the latch, the thrusts changed angles, pounding directly into her g-spot and she cussed into the dark of her room. 

Her orgasm washed over her like a tidal wave, crashing into her and seeping deep into her bones. It was the first actually satisfying orgasm she’d had in an incredibly long time. 

Her fingertips shook as they lingered on the necklace a moment, before she threw them back to her sheets, gripping them tightly as the thrusts continued. 

Fuck, this feels too good.

Through the post orgasm fog, she wondered if he knew. 

Did he know it was connected to her? 

She suddenly felt overcome with guilt. If he didn’t know, this felt a little like taking advantage of his struggles. If he did know, then she wanted to hear him say it out loud, that he knew exactly what he was doing to her. 

She wanted him to hear exactly what he was doing to her. 

With shaking hands and twitching thighs, she slapped around her bed for her phone, biting her lip through the pleasure to scroll through her contacts. 

It was nearly at the bottom, and the last time it was used was a hack of Silver Wolf’s, and Kafkas words, not his own. But she had to try regardless. 

She clicked the call button, bringing her phone to her ear as she bit back moans. 

Suddenly, the thrusting within her stopped, though the phantom cock remained buried within her. 

She gasped as the ringing came to a halt as the line picked up.

There was no answer, though she swore she could hear his breathing, just a bit heavier than usual. 

“Don’t… don’t stop.” She whispered. 

She thought she heard his breath catch in his throat. She definitely heard the swallow before he spoke. 

“What are you talking about.” His gravelly voice reverberated through the phone, and she felt the cock inside her move ever so slowly, in and out. 

She bit her lip. “I didn’t know at first, I swear.” Her thoughts were scrambled as the soft thrusts continued, and the knowledge that he was actively fucking himself with the toy while she spoke make her stomach jump in pleasure. 

“You didn’t know what?” He said, voice low and nearly at a whisper. 

“It’s… we’re… we’re connected.” 

The toy stopped, and she sucked in a breath of relief, hoping to gather her thoughts so she could properly explain herself. 

Suddenly a moan was ripped from her chest as his cock thrust into the toy with vigor, and his intense pace was picked back up tenfold. 

She tried to hide it, but the damage was done, and if he didn’t know before, he certainly did now as he listened to her whine and whimper through the phone. 

“I thought the inside felt far too realistic.” He growled. “You’re squeezing me so tight, little Nameless.” 

She gasped, his voice along with the stimulation was far too much, and another orgasm was quickly approaching. 

She tried to play it off like she wasn’t being fucked within an inch of her life though. 

“Yeah well, it’s… been a while since I’ve gotten any action, s-so forgive me for being a little tense.” She stammered. 

He switched his thrusts to hard and deep, so hard Stelle could nearly feel the sensation of his hips hitting hers, and she’s almost positive the fat of her lower half would be rippling in the recoil if he were actually here. 

“I knew as soon as I saw you that you were just a needy hole begging to be filled.” Blade said, voice deep and oh so condescending. 

Stelle fisted the sheets, her eyes nearly rolling into her skull as her needy moans slipped through clenched teeth. He was right, he was so right— but that didn’t mean she needed to concede so easily. 

“That’s bold talk…” she hissed, biting her lips until they felt raw. “…For someone who literally ran away from m-me as soon as his blood traveled south.”  

His dark laugh made her squeeze around him, and she knew he could feel it because the laugh trickled off into a deep groan that set her face on fire. She felt like her fingertips were alight with electricity, like her body was attempting to defy the artificial gravity on the express as she arched off her sheets. 

The pounding within her never faltered as he continued speaking his vile, filthy words at her. 

“You’re lucky I did, little Nameless.” She could almost imagine his murderous grin, the violence that vibrated through his voice was astounding. “If I had stayed I would have fucked you until not even your beloved crew would have been able to recognize the carnage I’d left behind.”

She couldn’t stop the noise that flew from her throat, a guttural keening that had her gripping her cellphone in embarrassment as he laughed once more. 

“Oh?” He teased, voice edged with gravel and venom. “You must be desperate to enjoy the idea of me fucking you until you’re nothing but hot pulp slipping through my fucking fingers.”

Oh she was so desperate, so fucked. If anyone else had said something so absolutely horrifying, she’d have run far, far away. 

“Does the rest of the express crew know how fucking depraved you are?” His thrusts seemed to pick up speed, which would’ve seemed nearly impossible, except she couldn’t exactly think at the moment, only sob as they slammed against that spot inside her over and over again until she felt herself slipping slowly. 

“Do they know that their precious little star wants to be fucked by a monster?” He snarled, and she cried out into the soft light of her room, thrashing around as her orgasm teased its way at her— but she was holding it back, why, why?

“Please,” she gasped. “Please, can I—“ oh, she thought distantly. Oh I’m so fucked up. 

Blade groaned, the slick sounds of him thrusting into the toy ringing in her ear. “So desperate, so polite. You really are something else.”

She keened, arching her back as the feeling licked at her further, so close to toppling over the edge.

“Go on then,” Blade whispered darkly. “Cum for me.” 

It crashed over her, more powerful than anything she could remember feeling. It pulsed through her in quick waves, so strong and violent as he just kept going. 

It started to dance into sickly sweet overstimulation as she heard his breath quicken, and she steadied her breath, wanting to savor this moment. 

“You know,” she breathed. “I’m a lot tougher than you think.”

His breath stuttered, his pace faltering ever so slightly. 

“I could take it,” she whispered. “I don’t think you’d hurt me in any way I didn’t want you to.” 

He faltered, and she heard him cuss under his breath through the phone.

“Yeah?” He whispered. “You’d take what I give you?”

She nodded at her ceiling, knowing he couldn’t see her, but her mind was too foggy with brutal pleasure to think straight. He was undoing her. 

“Every disgusting, violent, nasty thing you’d give me Blade,” she said, clutching the sheets as tears welled behind her eyes, praying he was almost finished but simultaneously never wanting it to end. “I’d take it so well for you, and I’d thank you for it.” 

“Fuck.” Blade moaned, deep and guttural, and his thrusting seized inside her. Much to her shock, she could feel the warmth of him filling her up, pump and after pump of him coating her insides. 

They both lay there, staring at their ceilings and breathing heavily over the phone, not speaking but not really wanting to anyways. 

Finally, once the breath returned to her lungs unlaboured, she felt him pull himself from the toy. 

She felt like she’d been hollowed out, like a crater had been formed where her insides should be, and without him there plugging her up—-her guts would fall out and she’d be left empty. 

He made a confused noise, and just as he did she felt the telltale squelch of cum slipping from her still twitching insides, and she groaned in frustration. 

“Well then,” he chuckled, softer now than before— almost a forbidden sound. “That makes cleaning up easier for me.” 

She smacked her hand over her face. “This is the weirdest toy ever invented, and I'm going to cry the next time I have to face Kafka.” 

“I figured this had something to do with her,” he said, shuffling noises heard from his end of the line. “She can never stay out of my business for too terribly long, unfortunately.” 

“Mine too it seems.” Stelle sighed. She smiled when he made a neutral sound of agreement. 

“You sound like you’re in a better mood.” She said, uncaring of the consequences.

“Well, before I realized what this really was, I was just hoping to release some inconvenient pent up energy.” He said, voice flat. “But I suppose doing it this way has added benefits. I’m no fool, I understand how the human brain works.”

“So this… helped you?” Stelle asked tentatively. 

He sighed. “I’d be lying if I said it was entirely useless.” 

Stelle smiled, stroking the choker around her throat, the delicate glow now completely faded. 

“I’ll keep my end of the connection on, it's simple enough. Just call me next time, okay? I don’t need to embarrass myself at dinner again.”

“I make no such promises.” She thought she heard the faintest of smiles in that last sentence before the line went dead.  

[guillotinesandroses]

Sai with an emotionally absent reader

Naruto Masterlist

Can be read as platonic or romantic.

Sai can tell instantly that you are just like him. You have gone through your daily life with nothing but numbness filling your chest, no passion or emotional ties to hold you down. At first Sai figures you must be another ROOT member like him, raised to erase your emotions like a real shinobi should. However, after observing you for a while and even speaking with you personally, he finds out that you are not affiliated with the ROOT at all. In fact, you appear quite confused when he attempts to hint at it, so he drops the conversation to not get caught. 

This discovery leaves him confused, since your lack of emotions is rather exceptional, even for a ninja. Although they should have, other parts of the Leaf did not partake in methods that removed emotions. The mystery shrouding you piques his interest, but mostly because he suspects you to be from an enemy village that does use such training methods. Looking into any files related to you and your bloodline serves no help, so he has to resort to following and observing you. However, because he does not discover anything new, he knows he has to, unfortunately, as it is not very ninja-like, try a more direct approach. 

Eventually, Sai corners you in a secluded area. Since the two of you have by now formed something of a friendship, you talk to him casually until he brings up his suspicions. His blunt accusation of you being an enemy ninja makes you raise an offended eyebrow, asking why he would say something like that. You are expecting to discover that someone has framed you for something, but Sai instead does something you are not sure is better or worse. He calls you out on feeling absolutely nothing, claiming that you must have been taught both to eradicate and to fake your emotions by whatever enemy nation trained you. 

For a while, you stand in silence, stunned with you mouth parted in shock. Eventually, you gain back enough composure to speak up. You explain the reasons for your lack of emotions, a mixture of genetics and an unfortunate upbringing. In spite of you not going into details, Sai can tell that you are speaking the truth. This revelation leaves him surprised yet also relieved, since this means you are not an enemy spy, and he does not need to fight or kill you. 

After this encounter, things are awkward between the two of you for a while. You are feel a sense of discomfort that Sai managed to read you like a book when you had spent years building up such a believable facade. Meanwhile, Sai is left with a strange, puzzling feeling. He does not feel many things, barely anything, in fact. However, your condition is shocking enough for him to start questioning certain things, such as if it would have been possible for him to follow whatever method you had used to become emotionless... instead of killing his brother. 

It takes Sai some pondering, but he goes to talk with you again eventually. He asks you a bunch of questions about your state of mind, your emotions. You answer, relieved in a way that you finally can talk to someone about your worldview but also nervous that he might still suspect you are a spy. However, he is not the only one who is good at reading people. From the subtle relaxation in his shoulders, you can tell that he is not doing this for a mission, even if he may tell himself that he is. 

In the end, all Sai figures out is that you also had to suffer in order to reach your current emotional state. Even if you did not say it directly, he can read between the lines. So, he does not quite get the information he was expecting to find. However, these exchanges end up with the two of you forming a strange yet closer bond. In spite of lacking emotions or an attachment to one another, your shared condition draws the two of you to meet time and time again. 

Most of your conversations end up surprisingly deep, as they have a tendency to revolve around the subject of lacking emotions. You frequently discuss how strange relationships and people are, confused about all of the drama caused by feelings, romantic feelings especially. A lot of the topics end up being oddly entertaining though, more lighthearted and even silly at times. The two of you also help each other try to solve what others mean by certain things in conversations. He greatly appreciates your input on the situations he ends up in, since you have much more experience with socialising than he does. 

As time passes on, Sai makes a lot of progress with his emotional blocks. He still struggles to socialize and understand things, but now he forms and maintains bonds in the same way most people can. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about you. Your condition persists and you remain the same while he moves on. This makes him feel a brand new emotion... guilt, for leaving you behind to struggle with what had been a shared issue, even though you try to reassure you were content with him making progress. 

Even after improving and overcoming his trauma by himself, Sai sticks around try to and help you bring down your emotional walls as well. Truth to be told, you do feel a sort of unique fondness towards him for being so understanding, but that does not change that healing is not something you were capable of at the moment. It would require a lot of therapy and actively trying to change yourself to undo the damage caused during your youth. Despite knowing this, Sai sticks around with you every step of the way, understanding and never pressuring you to change. He understands himself how difficult it is to gain one's emotions back after losing them. Even if you never learn how to be emotionally present again, Sai will stay by your side regardless, loving you to the best extent that he, with his also emotionally dull heart, can. 

[thelastevilregal]

The comment I made in the tags of the last post is making me think of Swan-Mills DnD family game night but instead of roleplaying they all just play as themselves

Emma likes to multiclass so she's pretty well rounded. A jack of all trades master of none type. Her wisdom is ass tho

Snow is a rogue but for some reason decided to make her best stat charisma

David can hit things. He can also take a hit. His background of growing up on a farm means he passes nearly all nature-based and animal handling skill checks with ease. Unfortunately he is outclassed in just about all of this by some of his companions, rendering him a bit redundant

Regina dumped all her stats into intelligence, wisdom, and charisma. She's always getting one-shotted due to her low constitution and needing to be revived. Emma is constantly nagging her about putting some points into dexterity so she's not solely relying on magic all the time, grilling her about what she's going to do when she runs out of spell slots. "Cantrips, Miss Swan, cantrips," is all Regina ever says in response. And yes, she does abuse magic missile, why do you ask?

Belle is a non-magic user who poured all her stats into intelligence and wisdom. Because of this, everyone thinks they're going to have to carry her during encounters but she almost always manages to hold her own through clever use of her environment and an intimate understanding of all the monsters they face

Killian multiclasses as a rogue and a bard, and is content to either talk his way out of conflict or fight his way out. His keen senses for finding treasure and disarming traps, skills with both a pistol and a rapier, and convenient support abilities are valued by his companions. However, his party always becomes quickly annoyed by his attempts to fuck anything that moves

It's always a good time when Red makes it to a session. As a path of the beast barbarian with high strength and high constitution, she makes any combat encounter a walk in the park. Her sensitive nose also allows her party to bypass certain puzzles/encounters they would have otherwise spent hours on. The only downside to having her around is her wolfish appetite and subsequent strain on the group's resources

Robin is a rogue who the party calls in for stealth missions. Emma resents him for it, since when he's not around, she's the one who is relied on for all things related to stealth and thievery. But the real reason she doesn't like him is because he keeps flirting with Regina's character

Mulan is a fighter class and can do basically everything David can do but better. She has abysmally low charisma though so the group has to be careful to never allow her to be the one to talk to strangers they come across

Despite having +10 modifiers in all stats, Rumple still can't help but cheat and gets kicked out of sessions for it repeatedly. The party ends up caving and bringing him back for more challenging missions since his skillset as the Dark One is so useful. He has a bad habit of rolling crit fails at high stakes moments, setting the party's progress back months in some cases. When he isn't cheating or rolling nat 1's, he has a tendency to turn on his companions. No one knows why they keep inviting him

[adamwatchesmovies]

Arthur Christmas (2011)

It’s not too late for audiences to recognize Arthur Christmas as a holiday classic and I’m happy to help make it happen. Earnest, clever, funny and memorable - all without stepping on the toes of other yuletide staples - it’s a solid pick to keep the whole family entertained.

When Arthur Christmas (voiced by James McAvoy), son of  the current Santa, Malcolm Christmas (Jim Broadbent), realizes his father has missed a child on Christmas Eve, he is determined to bring her the bike she asked for. Unfortunately, Santa is too tired to venture out again and Arthur’s older brother, Steven (Hugh Laurie), is too focused on the 99.99% success rate he helped achieve to care. Despite the family’s objections, Arthur, Grandsanta (voiced by Bill Nighy) and elf Bryony (Ashley Jensen) of the Wrapping Division decide to venture out, determined to get the little girl her bicycle.

I should clarify certain aspects of this film’s mythology before going further. Here, the title of “Santa Claus” has been passed down from father to son for generations. There used to be flying reindeer but they’ve been replaced by a flying saucer-like high-tech sleigh. To make it around the world without being detected, Santa depends on his legion of elves. He depends on them a little bit too much, in fact. The current Santa, now on his 70th mission, is a figurehead. Steven handles nearly every aspect of the delivery. He’s the prodigy while Arthur is the screw-up everyone prays will stay out of the way on the big night. The movie is about his family - and the audience - realizing that despite all his faults, Arthur might actually be more qualified than anyone else to be Santa Claus.

Adults will latch onto Arthur in no time. They'll see that his determination to make the Holiday right for everyone, to look past percentages of gifts delivered and to fudge the ratio of naughty to niceness when necessary, embodies the true spirit of December 25th. The question is whether he has what it takes to accomplish his mission before the sun rises in Trelew, Cornwall and little Gwen wakes up to look for the bicycle she asked for. Even if he doesn't, the fact that he’s trying means you’re cheering for him with every once of yuletide spirit you’ve got. His underdog status and tendency to get in over his head means the kids will relate as well. They'll know right away the bureaucratic mentality that's seeping into the North Pole is wrong.

Arthur gives the film an inherent sweetness and earnestness. He also brings many laughs. Basically dragged along for the ride by his eccentric grandfather, the two get into all sorts of mishaps around the world as they navigate over big cities and oceans while trying to remain incognito. It’s a lot of semi-episodic gags but they all work and in between, there are great bits of character development. We learn that there’s a lot more to this magical family than we first suspected.

From Aardman Animation (their second computer-generated film after “Flushed Away”), this is a great-looking movie with the same attention to detail that would’ve gone into one of their claymation productions. All of the gadgets the elves use to complete their missions, the huge variety of environments the sleigh finds itself in, little gags that didn’t need to be there but were inserted because someone on the design team had a great idea - like Steven’s Christmas tree-shaped goatee - mean there’s always something to see in each frame.

Every year, we get a new batch of family Holiday movies “just because”. These have no lasting power, no clever ideas and no reason to exist except to add to the pile of “new content” on the various platforms we’re subscribed to. Instead of gambling on that new release, go find Arthur Christmas. While it didn’t necessarily bomb at the box office, its receipts tell me you probably didn’t see it, which means there’s no better time to rectify that mistake than now. (On Blu-ray, December 23, 2021)

[satancopilotsmytardis]

8 + Daddy kink, perhaps? 👀

Pairing: Shigadabi

Rating: E

Contents: Daddy kink, masturbation, anal fingering, anal sex, BDSM, multiple orgasms, praise kink, humiliation kink, aftercare, very brief mention of child abuse, light feminization, suicidal thoughts/tendencies (but in the 'I have been minorly inconvenienced and I am now writing my will, oh woe is me, you shall miss when I'm gone' kind of way)

It's such a goddamn cliche that he has a fucking daddy kink. Oh ho, the kid whose dad treated him like he was the whole world and then shifted to beating him, ignoring him, and then finally abandoning him to a gruesome death likes to call people 'daddy' while getting fucked? Big surprise. What's worse is that he didn't used to have a daddy kink. The first time he'd been getting fucked and his partner had growled, "You like having Daddy's cock in you, don't you, bitch?", Dabi had immediately recoiled, and the guy had been lucky to just walk away with second degree burns, unfinished, and alive. It had made his skin crawl and he'd felt vile. Had switched to just topping for a long while after that. Then it happened again. Was fucking a woman hard and they were both thoroughly enjoying it, and she'd been very, very vocal. He was sure they were gonna get someone pounding on her apartment door. But she'd screamed, "Harder, Daddy, harder!", and Dabi had immediately gone soft. Went from them both having a good time to neither of them finishing and having to part awkwardly because they both were very clear on why it had happened. The point is that he didn't used to have a daddy kink, it used to repulse him. 

It was some extra cruel twist of fate that it reared its ugly head when he'd developed a slightly insane and possibly suicidal crush on his weird boss. Apparently he and Spinner have two things in common, wanting to uphold Stain's ideology, and thinking that Tomura, bleeding, broken, shirtless, and his hair bleached white by his quirk, standing in the rubble of a ruined city-- was hot as fuck. The major difference is that Spinner is repressed as fuck and just thinks that he's super dedicated to Shigaraki's cause now, and not that he wants to fuck nasty with their Grand Commander. Dabi, on the other hand, knows exactly what he's about and he wants to be about Shigaraki on his dick or his dick inside of him. It's unfortunate, then, that the switch over to the PLF also came with a shit ton more work as they restructured things and Duster having to go away for a while to get treated because of the aforementioned broken and bleeding. Which means that Dabi is left, unable to see if he gets dusted for propositioning his boss, and frustratingly horny because he also didn't want to fuck one of the grunts and have Duster hear about that. He can't imagine Shig would take him seriously if he heard that he was racking up a non-arson related body count and then asked him to go to bed with him too. 

They've got plastic now though, private rooms, and everyone already knows not to bother him once he's left the main floor for work shit unless the police or heroes are about to break down the door, so he figures that he's good to get himself a dildo and a stroker and take care of himself. And that helps take the edge off, definitely. Manages to tide him over until Shig comes back from his first round of treatments, and Dabi doesn't waste any time. 

He waits until they're alone one night, finishing going over some of the reports that Duster's missed while he's been getting healed. When Shig stands to grab something from his desk, Dabi stands too, follows him and steps in close, and murmurs, "If I asked you to go to bed with me, would I get killed? Or would you just demote me?" 

Sees a flicker of surprise go through those pretty red eyes that they've gotten to see a lot more since Shig stopped wearing the nasty hands all over his face. And then they go so dark that Dabi's breath hitches in the back of his throat. "If you asked me," and Dabi feels the tables turn as Shigaraki moves closer to him. They're nearly the same height, Dabi is just a bit taller, but he doesn't feel it as Shigaraki's eyes drag over him. "I would take you to bed, and all you would have to worry about is telling me if I give you more than you can handle." 

They don't make it to bed. Dabi has never been happier to be a career slut because there is a sachet of lube in his coat pocket and Duster fucks him so good and hard against his desk that he accidentally leaves handprints burned into the surface. He cums three times and can't even move afterwards. Expects to be left there boneless until he can pull himself back together and find his scattered clothes, but instead Shig presses soft kisses along his cooling skin, waits for him to be coordinated enough to sit up, and then makes him stay put. He leaves for a few minutes and comes back with a cloth to clean him up with and a glass of water. Dabi tries to insist that he's fine, doesn't normally get anything like this, and it's kind of making something warm and shaky spread in his gut in a way he doesn't really get. But Tomura kisses him again, and he shuts up.

And maybe Dabi had been thinking that fucking Shig once would be a way to scratch that itch and get it out of his system. He was absolutely not expecting that Shigaraki would want this to be more than a one-time thing. That they would go from fucking whenever they got a chance to... dating in plan view of the PLF and League. And Tomura always takes care of him. Not just after sex, he does that too of course, cuddles and kisses, cleaning him up and making sure that he's all put back together with careful consideration that makes him a stupid puddle of good endorphins. But he also takes care of him when they're not in bed. He makes sure he gives himself time to eat when he would normally ignore it in favor of overloading his schedule with work and training. He does his best to make sure that Dabi is taking care of his health. He always checks in on him when he's being moody, and he holds him at night without being afraid of getting burned when he has a nightmare. He tells Dabi that he loves him in a month which should be too soon. It should make him recoil and reconsider what they're doing. Instead it makes him so needy that he practically throws himself at the other man, so desperate to show the things he can't say with his body.

Tomura fucks him slowly, but unrelentingly, trying to squeeze out every drop of pleasure from his body until he breaks. Dabi does break, it's just not in the way that he's expecting to.

Is writhing in their sheets, his lover's cock hitting all of the good places inside of him in a constant, unceasing rhythm as he toys with his cock, holding him, but not stroking, just squeezing a bit, just occasionally rubbing his thumb along his ladder. It's torture and Dabi needs to cum. He's on the verge of sobbing as he begs, "Please D--" cuts himself off with a sharp cry as humiliation surges through him and sends him over the edge, coating his stomach and Tomura's hand in cum. Tomura keeps fucking him, makes him cum again, fills him up, and then holds him close and keeps letting him know with every soft touch against his skin how loved he is. 

And Dabi has to cope with the fact that he is laying in his lover's arms, having a crisis because he'd almost called him 'daddy' as he'd been fucking into him so perfectly. 

He hopes that that's just an isolated incident, that some wire got crossed in his brain and it will go away, but it doesn't. It keeps flitting through his mind, when they're in bed together, when Dabi is needy and alone because Tomura still has other treatments to do. And it gets so bad that he decides that he has to fucking exorcise this from him like a fucking demon. Waits until Tomura is gone for a few days and takes out a few of their favorite toys and is determined to get this out of his system. 

He works himself up slowly, hands going over his seams, playing with his nipples, scraping his nails hard enough to leave red lines on his unburned skin. Gets himself so hot imagining that it's his lover's hands on him, his mouth, his cock sinking inside when he fills himself up with the dildo. And he feels it bubble up behind his lips again. This time he lets it slip out, "Ah, Daddy," and instead of having it bring everything to a screeching halt, it makes him hotter. He fucks himself harder, moaning and whining, begging for Tomura to give him more, but he's not even there, and he's not saying 'Tomura', he's saying 'daddy', over and over and over again. He cums harder than he thinks he ever has without a partner. And it's at that point he has to completely resign himself to the fact that he does, in fact, have a daddy kink. 

He is absolutely planning on just wasting away after that. He'll write his lover a goodbye note and leave behind a mangled, burned, but beautiful (to Tomura's bad taste) corpse for him. He does not want to examine why he's suddenly developed this kink. Why being treated with care, and cherished, and given respect and affection in equal measures, why feeling safe and secure in his lover's arms, had made him want to call him that. He's not doing it, so premature immolation it is. Which is why, when Tomura comes home the next day, Dabi is laying in their bed, somewhat despondent, having his last meal which is Toga's strawberry cheesecake ice cream. Duster takes one look at him and comes over to the bed, climbing in and pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck. 

"What's wrong, firefly?" 

"I'm killing myself later. You weren't supposed to come home until after I was done. I still expect you to cry over my body." 

Duster hums, pressing another kiss to his skin and then stealing a bite of the ice cream as well. "If it's your last day, then I want to pamper you before you go. If you let me, then I promise to weep over your body for hours and when I tear down the whole world, the first thing I'll do is start to rebuild things in your image, make sure the world knows you're my Hephaestion. Does that sound fair, baby?" 

"Okay," and he lets his lover press another kiss to his cheek and they finish the ice cream together. Then Duster kisses the lingering sweetness out of his mouth and makes him get up. Runs them a bath and fills it with the green tea melts that have been helping soothe some of the soreness of his seams. They stay in the tub until Dabi would have to use his quirk to keep the water the right temperature. 

Dabi is considering life again when they get out and Duster wraps him up in a fluffy towel, doting on him the whole time. Kisses and soft touches against his skin, murmured words of affection in his ear, until he's pretty sure he's going to turn into a puddle. Not going to even have the focus to set himself on fire if Tomura keeps this up. 

When his lover gets him back into their bed, Dabi threads his hands into his hair, trying to pull him closer, trying to get him between his legs. Tomura leans over him, one hand braced against his chest, keeping just far enough back to not let Dabi close the space between them. "Are you in a hurry, firefly? Or will you stick around long enough for me to give you a little death before you go?" 

"Tomura," he whines, glad that's the word falling from his lips. His lover doesn't laugh at him, but his lips are definitely curved into a smile against his when he finally closes the space between them. Dabi drags his nails down his back in retaliation, but it's not a good one. Tomura never gets mean unless he begs for that. He's too intent on spoiling him rotten. Never had a pleasure dom before, but he can't say that it hasn't been a wonderful change of pace. 

Has his lover's hands, his mouth, moving over his body then, knows every place to touch to turn Dabi into a needy, trembling mess against their sheets. There are moans slipping past his lips as Tomura kisses along his seams and teases his fingers along his cock, strokes his balls, and then finally grabs their lube and starts to rub his fingers against him. He mewls as they start to push in. He's so relaxed from the bath, from how sweet his lover has been, that it doesn't take long before he's got three working inside of him, every pass making his cock drip more steadily against his stomach. And it's good, of course it's good, it's never been anything less than good with Tomura, but he wants more. 

"D-- Duster," he manages to correct, playing it off as getting lost in the feeling of his fingers crooking so good against his prostate. But he knows what he wants to say, feels it sitting in his throat and making more heat leech out across his veins. 

"What is it, baby? Time for you to go? Guess this will have to be enough--" Definitely a teasing lilt to his voice as he presses a kiss to the seam curving over his side. "Too bad, I would have loved to give you my cock one more time." 

"Stay," he surrenders. 

"Are you sure, firefly? You were so bound and determined before." 

"Stay, please--" cuts it off. "I want it," Rocks back on his fingers, more than ready, "I can take it, please?" 

"Is that so?" And he crooks his fingers up hard enough that Dabi sees stars. Sends such a sharp jolt of pleasure through him that he slips. 

"Ah, please Daddy!" And then spills smoke because Duster is going very, very still against him. Because that teasing twist of his lips is gone, as is the warmth in his eyes. Fear and shame sour Dabi's gut sharply, and the minute that he stops feeling like the floor dropped out from under him, he's going to squirm out from beneath his lover and set himself on fire as soon as he leaves the bed. 

But Tomura composes himself faster, fucks his fingers into him one more time roughly as his other hand wraps around the back of his neck and draws him into a hard kiss. Dabi keens. His lover licks into his mouth like he wants to eat him alive, like the right flick of his tongue will draw that word out of his throat again as he pulls his fingers from his needy body to replace them with his cock. 

"Ask nicely, firefly." 

Has definitely melted his brain already because he doesn't hesitate this time, "Please give me your cock, Daddy," sounds like he's going to die without it. He might. 

Doesn't have to find out though because Tomura sinks inside of him as soon as the words are off his lips. Kisses him hard again as both of his hands resettle on his hips. Only gives him those few seconds to adjust before he's drawing his hips back and snapping them forward. Fucks into him hard and all Dabi can do, all he wants to do, is hold on and let him. They fuck hard, teeth bruising lips, hips bruising thighs, nails cutting open bloody lines along skin. And the entire time, whenever Dabi can catch a breath, he's letting go, spilling his shame between them, 

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" And Tomura doesn't even flinch, devours that up just as readily as he has anything else that Dabi's offered him. But he's talking too, voice a growl in his ear. 

"That's it, fuck, you feel so good, sound so cute--" Makes Dabi's whole body even hotter from the praise, his cock aching and drooling constantly. Going to cum without needing a touch there if Tomura keeps talking like that, fucking him like this. "Wish you'd told me sooner, would have been happy to give you anything you want. Daddy's baby." His voice saturated with heat. "My princess."

Dabi arches off the sheets, muscles clenching tight, and his quirk makes his whole body feverish as he cums so hard he feels his release splatter against his chin as he moans, "Daddy!" One final time. Tomura follows him over, making him even fuller as they both come slowly through their orgasms and aftershocks. 

Not a surprise that Duster pulls himself together first. "'Daddy'? Is that why you were so upset? Baby, you can call me whatever you want." Lips against his cheek, which would be really sweet if he hadn't very clearly heard, 

"'Princess'?" 

Shig hums in the back of his throat, not one to cowed. "Didn't know if you would like that. Figured it could wait until we had a check-in. Already so cute, would love to have my baby girl crying for his Daddy's cock." Dabi's cock twitches, clearly a traitor and very, very on board for that idea. "But I suppose that won't happen if you're still planning on leaving me behind for that eternal sleep."

"Fucking me again right now," Dabi demands as forcefully as he can when he's a complete puddle in their bed. "But if anyone ever finds out about this, I'm taking us both out." 

Duster leans down and nuzzles their noses together, that smug little smile back on his face. "Can't imagine a better way to go, sweetheart. But you're going to have to drop that attitude. Only good girls get Daddy's cock, and you don't want to be empty, now do you, princess?" 

He shivers as his arousal surges through him again, "Please Daddy, I'll be good." 

Can't be as upset about the daddy kink as before, not when he and Shig damn near break the bed that night. Also not gonna have to worry about taking them both out in a shower of fire and ash because when Toga finds her missing ice cream, they're not gonna last long anyway. 

Thanks for submitting! The typing box is fueled by comments/replies, consider leaving one if you had fun!

[fatherfigurefusion]

DRDT Beta AU (feel free to ask me any questions about it)

Teruko Tawaki, Ultimate Lucky Student

The protagonist. Despite having the Ultimate title of “Lucky Student,” it seems like the only luck Teruko has is bad luck. Accidents and misfortunes constantly plague Teruko and those around her. Because of this, she exercises caution in just about any situation and yearns to keep the people around her safe. Teruko has a natural inclination towards protecting others, at the expense of her own health.

Alexander "Xander" Matthews, Ultimate Rebel

With a constant smirk on his face, Alexander “Xander” Matthews earned the title of Ultimate Rebel through his consistent tendency to go against the status quo and break the rules. In spite of his shifty appearance and personality, Xander has a strong sense of morals, and is constantly trying to right the world’s wrongs. Xander seems to revel in his reputation as a "criminal", a "troublemaker", and a "problem child", with negative comments almost never fazing him.

Charles Cuevas, Ultimate Chemist

While there’s no doubt that the Ultimate Chemist is very educated and talented in the field of chemistry, Charles Cuevas is highly reckless and appears to enjoy any instances of chaos and destruction, especially if it involves something exploding or melting. He is very expressive regularly found smiling and laughing maniacally. He is also quite scatterbrained, and finds it very hard to recall information not related to his Ultimate talent.

Ace Markey, Ultimate Jockey

Ace Markey is an incredible Jockey, having won dozens of awards for his jockeying abilities...and yet he doesn't seem to care one bit for it. In fact, Ace doesn't seem to really care about anything apart from satisfying his base desires. He appears to take nothing seriously, and would rather slack off and joke around than do anything productive.

Arei Nageishi, Ultimate Bowler

Arei Nageishi made her debut in the bowling world as a teenager by winning multiple bowling championships. Perpetually stone-faced, Arei is quite the pushover, willing to do as much labor for others as possible, even if she's unfairly worked to the bone. Ultimately, she just wants to ingratiate herself with others, but how far would she go to be accepted by others?

Rose Lacroix, Ultimate Art Forger

As the Ultimate Art Forger, Rose Lacroix paints copies of famous masterpieces that are so realistic that they’re often mistaken for the real thing. She owes her forgery talent to her photographic memory. Unfortunately, based on Rose's constant thousand-yard-stare, this appears to be more of a curse than a blessing. She seems to be unable to relax, and is often heard mumbling ominous things to herself.

Hu Jing, Ultimate Zither Player

Hu Jing is an incredibly talented musician who specializes as the Ultimate Zither Player. It’s said that even a listening to a few minutes of one of her performances will bring tears to even the hardest of hearts. Hu holds her talent with great pride, and is often considered snobby and conceited by others because of it. She places as much emphasis on being prim, proper, and perfect as possible.

Eden Tobisa, Ultimate Clockmaker

Grouchy, bitter, and perpetually exhausted, Eden Tobisa is the cranky Clockmaker. She has a bit of a tendency to overwork herself as she gets absorbed into her work sometimes, leading to all of the issues described above. While it may seem like Eden is on the cynical or pessimistic side, she is merely your typical socially-awkward girl with no clue how to carry a conversation.

Levi Fontana, Ultimate Personal Stylist

His musculature may be intimidating, but Levi Fontana has the innocuous talent of Personal Stylist and the personality and outfit to match. He has quite the sociable yet goofy and airheaded personality, but he is surprisingly good at giving out advice and assistance to people who need it. Levi's helpful yet naive nature seems to be the result of a dangerous past that he refuses to elaborate on.

Arturo Giles, Ultimate Plastic Surgeon

Arturo Giles is a Plastic Surgeon who specializes in cosmetic surgery. In spite of his talent, he holds a strong dislike for both the work that goes into it and the beauty standards that characterize the industry. Dislikes aside, Arturo is down-to-earth, sociable, and definitely one of the less outlandish personalities in the cast...unless you happen to be a celebrity, in which case he'd really display his utter hatred for you.

Min Jeung, Ultimate Student

Min Jeung is one of the top school performers in the nation, and as thus has rightfully earned the title of Ultimate Student. Her talents lie in her diligence at studying and her excellent memory. She is hardworking, overly-formal, and very loud, always seeks to uphold rules at any cost and has a strong dislike for those who seek to break these rules.

David Chiem, Ultimate Inspirational Speaker

David Chiem is a renowned Inspirational Speaker who has motivated many people through his straightforward speeches. Despite what one would think when they hear his talent, David is a foul-mouthed cynic who nonetheless encourages others with his brutally honest "encouragement". His edgy personality is sometimes seen by certain people as a mere act, but others claim that he is genuinely that harsh and pessimistic.

Veronika Grebenshchikova, Ultimate Horror Fanatic

Despite what her talent would suggest, Veronika Grebenshchikova is incredibly timid and cowardly, seemingly scared of even her own shadow. Her intense consumption and studies of the horror genre (perhaps leading to her easily-scared personality) have earned her the title of Ultimate Horror Fanatic. Her tendency to get carried away when talking about terrifying scenarios that could befall others run the risk of frightening people away.

Julia Rosales, Ultimate Special Effects Artist

The daughter of famous film actress Mariabella Rosales, Julia Rosales specializes in special affects for both film and theatre, no doubt using the connections she had from her mother to accomplish this. She has a bratty and self-centered personality, living for fame and adoration from the masses and considering herself to be above others. In spite of her egotistical personality and attempts to imitate her mother, she has a surprisingly shy streak.

Whit Young, Ultimate Matchmaker

It’s said that if you get the Ultimate Matchmaker to find you a romantic partner, you’re guaranteed to have a happy and stable relationship for life. However, Whit Young doesn't seem to have any interest in finding a relationship for himself. Whit takes just about everything seriously, especially endeavors relating to his Ultimate talent, and always prioritizes logic over emotions.

Nico Hakobyan, Ultimate Pet Therapist

As the Ultimate Pet Therapist, Nico Hakobyan possesses an incredible synergy with animals and works with owners to address behavioral issues in their pets. Claiming to have a psychic connection to animals, Nico is a firm believer in just about every single pseudo-science imaginable. They are always blissfully cheerful, regardless of the circumstances, seemingly stuck in their own little world, and seem to have noticeable trouble connecting to other humans.

[evilguywhoisevil]

harukAUTISM? its more likely than you think

he has not been formally diagnosed up until being in zool, as

kujo does not know or care much about autism.

neither does his grandmother, and she wouldn't be able to take him any specialist appointments either.

haruka only gets diagnosed in the first place because his PCP has seen him long enough to recognize his autistic tendencies (quick to frustration, difficulty with expressing emotion/communication, nervous avoiding eye contact, "immature" for his age, etc) and suggest he see a specialist.

he would ruminate on it for a bit, and would open up slightly after being prodded to because touma noticed he was feeling nervous. haruka doesn't state that its an autism diagnosis he's seeking- haruka isn't 100% certain that he even has autism in the first place (he doesn't know much about it), and he doesn't wanna look like an idiot if it turns out he doesn't.

so he goes to the specialist right. alone. which makes him nervous, and especially since he's the oldest patient there. (he can't seek an adult diagnosis yet, and the only doctors office within range is aimed at young children and toddlers).

by a stroke of luck, the doctor he sees actually can recognize autism in teenagers, and is easy to talk to. haruka still has to be probed a bit, as otherwise he wouldn't report traits that he has because he's autistic. ('huh??? most people can tolerate clashing fabric textures and temperatures *without* feeling constant discomfort and pain?? what do you mean teens my age don't cry so easily??? n-not that i cry *that* often!')

some sessions pass. they're kinda expensive but haruka is learning so much and is both relieved he has answers and is frustrated he just didn't know this sooner. ('it's his fault, right? i mean, the doctor mentioned a lot of people turn to online support groups if they don't have anyone else to talk to about autism... he could have done something like that and saved himself so much issues...')

he opens up about the nature of the sessions to touma- after a few sessions, zool would have known he has doctors visits *for something* but would not have cared enough to ask for more information. (before zool becomes real friends obviously). the thing is, touma talks loud. not on purpose. haruka tells him to keep it down (he doesnt want anyone else to know just yet). unfortunately, someone does overhear. torao. he didnt hear much, but he did hear touma ask haruka how long he's known about the autism. (not super long, haruka would reply). torao knows very little about autism outside of the times hes heard the related slur used as an insult. even then he hasnt heard that term much. what torao *does* know is that autism is a 'disease', and given how often harukas been going to the doctor for a while it must be at least somewhat serious... it is in these circumstances that torao makes a fatal error of assuming that autism and aneurysms are related in someway due to how theyre spelled and pronounced. he also doesnt know what an aneurysm is, only that its lethal. later that day, after zool is done practicing their choreography (which torao struggled with, distracted by the idea that haruka has some kind of fatal disease), torao talks to haruka in private. haruka does not know why this is happening or why torao is so serious for once. torao offers to cover any medications, visits, or hospital stays haruka needs. ('did he find out', haruka thinks, 'but how?! i was so careful to be quiet about it. touma must have told him, jerk... but why would i need a hospital stay...?') it is not until torao also offers to help haruka experience more adult things (alcohol and women mostly) in case he doesnt make it long enough to experience himself is that haruka suspects something is seriously wrong. 'gross! dont just bring those up for no reason', haruka begins, 'and im not- why are you acting like im dying??' torao frowns. sure, he doesnt know haruka well (at this point in time), and what he does know about haruka paints him as a childish, immature teenager, but hes still a kid. he hasnt even had the chance to grow up, and he doesnt have any guardians that hes mentioned that would be able to properly care for him. haruka is trying to navigate having a terminal condition (the deadly disease known as autism aka an aneurysm which is definitely a progressive illness and not something you die very quickly from) all by himself. hes not that heartless, of course torao would want to help him out. now more so since haruka seems adamant on pretending like nothing is wrong. torao just shakes his head at harukas response, tells him he doesnt have to explain the details if he doesnt want to yet and that he wont pry. haruka is still terribly confused and hopes that torao isnt doing some weird form of pity towards his autism... or that torao thinks hes dying. unfortunately, ryou, out of the goodness of his heart (and not out of boredom and desire to torment them in a group setting) was there to pickup his favorite idol group and invite them to a delicious dinner at his apartment! they'll come, right? its not like they have anything better to do, right? it's not like they'll be somewhere where he can't find them, right?

he has minami and touma but goes back with them into the dance room to get haruka and torao (he notes those two don't interact on their own very much, this must be something secretive? how fun!) and the three of them end up overhearing the entire conversation.

ryou is mad. its not like he cares about harukas health that much, but he put in so much effort into finding and training his guy to be an anti-idol and he's just gonna die!? asshole, how could he just leave like this. (at least when momo did it, he wasn't on the verge of death).

touma cannot hide his shock, and probably ends up barging into the room koolaid man style. 'HUH??? ISUMI YOU'RE DYING???' minami is considerably less emotional but is still visibly worried (as much as she can she's willing to show at least). haruka starts sputting out a defense, a clarification, an insult- his brain takes too long to decide what he will say and ryou cuts him off. basically blames haruka for dying and starts whining that itll be so hard to find another boar in his place and that he could have at least waited until they finished doing their upcoming music video. touma reasonably gets mad at ryou for this and asks what the hell is wrong with him and ryou threatens him with murder (again) and is getting the sickest side eye from minami and torao. haruka just blurts out that he ISN'T dying and he cant believe that everyone in this room is so incredibly stupid (minami will remember this) to think of something so crazy when all he has is AUTISM! and immediate regret. ryou gives haruka a distinct look, probably disgust and annoyance. minami is quietly relieved, touma is overtly relived, and torao doesn't feel any better until after ryou says 'that's it? but i was looking forward to seeing you in a hospital bed! you got my hopes up for nothing, all you idols are the same.' and his mood is sooo sour that he doesn't even want to torment zool *at that moment* (the plans he had for dinner wouldn't be good enough at this point for the level of disappointment he feels) and ends up ditching all 4 of them. torao, who is still somewhat unaware, asks why ryou was disappointed when haruka still has a 'disease' and then has to be explained by all 3 of his bandmates that autism doesn't kill you. ('and stop talking about it like it's contagious! ugh, you're so dumb sometimes you make touma look smart.' -haruka).

[baejax-the-great]

top 5 fav things about Big Ajax?

He is big. This might seem silly, but I come from a family of very tall, broad, and strong people, and in general feel comforted by their presence. I think his physique is one reason he gets written off as stupid, unfortunately, because there is a tendency to assume big means brainless. Not really sure where that comes from, but it is one of the things that put me on the Ajax defense squad.

He's almost always depicted on defense. I just find it interesting that the second best of the Achaeans isn't out cutting everyone down, but rather shielding people or corpses or ships. You think of Ajax, and you think of a big fuck-off shield.

The tragic arc of his story. For him to finally be the best, a friend/relative had to die. And even when he was the best, it went unrecognized. There was no winning. Great stuff. Relatable.

The whole scene by the ships. We love an epic last stand in this house (even if he was eventually rescued by Patroclus).

When asking for help from Zeus, who he has rightly deduced is helping the other side, he's like, "if you are going to kill us, at least take this mist away so we can die in the light." What a prayer. What a guy. Fuck the gods.